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Constantly breaking in my shoes

  • Life

I have this pair of shoes that I really like.

It looks nice and it has rainbow stripes on the outer sides of each shoe, which makes me feel like I’m representing my community in a little way that I can.

I bought it in July 2019 — actually the last thing I bought on ASOS, now that I’m checking my order history. Historically, me and shoes don’t have the best of relationships, with my feet being too wide for a lot of them.

(I know, when I say “historically”, it gives the impression that I buy a lot of shoes and… I don’t. Right now I have:

  • A pair of Timberland boots that have definitely been worn enough for the value I paid for it;
  • My gym shoes which are Nike Metcons, which I don’t even wear because I do my workouts at home now;
  • My running/jogging/walking shoes which have grease marks on the sides of the white cupsole because I wore that while go-karting;
  • This pair of rainbow sneakers)

Anyway. Back to these shoes.

I break them in, then I stop wearing them for a long time.

I’ve broken them in, no less than four times.

Last Friday, I wore them again. Again, they rubbed against the back of my ankles and I needed to place bandages on them mid-chowing down my ice cream.

It made me think about all the other things that I do, like I’m Sisyphus, over and over again futilely. I thought if it was like that apocryphal quote attributed to Einstein about the definition of insanity, and doing things over and over and expecting different results, but decided it wasn’t since I know what the result would be, so Sisyphus it is.

It’s probably one of the least productive aspects of my life; not setting up proper frameworks so that I’m manually doing things for the first time all the time. Or it’s the lack of automation that gets me.

For me, beyond breaking in my shoes, these are some other things that are like that:

My writing progress

In that I don’t really have one. I usually sit down and start typing, which goes against everything about writing that I’ve learned (structure, an objective, etc). So I just sit down, usually every Saturday or Sunday, and stare at my Notion table of all the topics I’ve brainstormed in the past, but haven’t really fleshed out.

Food prep

I try to eat moderately healthy most of the time, but I definitely do better and more consistently if I’m sticking to a routine. Ingredient prepping on Sundays help, but the space in the fridge is (very) limited, so sometimes it feels like I’m wasting a lot of time doing it on an ad-hoc basis every day, and then I just… don’t do it.

Investing monthly

This one is a little tricky. As far as I know, there’s no automated way of doing it so I can do it out-of-sight-out-of-mind, so what usually happens is that at the end of the month, I have to

  1. transfer money from my bank to my broker account
  2. convert SGD to USD
  3. buying the stock at market rate.

There are things that break down here, like forgetting it in the first place, or looking like the monkey puppet at how high it has climbed despite the world being, well. Gesturing generally at the world’s direction.

If I start poking at more parts of my life, I can probably find more things (like lazing in bed for up to an hour at a time and conveniently skipping working out because oops no time left, or falling behind on my reading challenge and having to play catch-up all the time, or in the work context where I consistently have to create new elements for wireframes instead of having set components that I can use all the time).

Instead, I’m just going to relax for the rest of this Sunday because the next few weeks at work is going to be tough before my week-long break. 🤡

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